Facilitating Self Feeding Eating

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

"How do I get my toddler to eat more independently? I feel like he should be eating mostly on his own now, but he still wants me to hold the fork or the spoon."

A child’s self feeding skills begin to develop long before he has the ability or even the desire to self feed. At 2 months of age, most babies are beginning to bring their hands to mouth and by 4 months are brings objects and toys to their mouth. They may not be well coordinated and may bang their head before they physically get the object to their mouth. These important early skills will develop into the skills required for self feeding. If a child has motor issues or reflux, the ability or desire to bring things to their mouth may be reduced and can negatively impact these essential pre-self feeding skills.

Actual self feeding desire and skills develop early. Between 5-6 months most bottle fed babies can independently hold the bottle using one or both hands. By 6 months, he has the skills to hold a cracker and place it to his mouth and by nine months of age most children are capable of independent finger feeding. Spoon and fork feeding skills develop later. By 12-14 months, most children are able to bring a spoon to mouth. By 24 months, most children can “scoop” a spoon and bring it to their mouth. Spillage may be the norm until he masters the skill. This typically occurs by 30 months of age. Between 30-36 months of age, children are able to stab food with a fork and bring it to their mouth.

If an age appropriate child is not self-feeding, one must determine whether he has the skill but doesn’t want to do it or, whether he does not have the skills to do it. If following these simple steps to support self-feeding skills do not spark your child’s interest in self-feeding there may be a deeper problem.

One of the most important things to do very early on (4-6 months of age) is to encourage food exploration. Let your child squeeze appropriate foods between their fingers, squish it with their thumb or finger paint with the food. Food exploration can be messy, but it is a vital step in the process towards self-feeding. It increases curiosity and understanding of the characteristics of food. It can help your child make the correct choice on how to obtain the food. If you have never let your child “get messy” with food, this is the first step towards self-feeding. Having said that, it is never acceptable to allow your child to throw food or “trash the kitchen”.

As your child is experimenting with self-feeding skills, accept all attempts towards self feeding. If your child picks up food and places it on the spoon that is self-feeding. Praise him for these attempts. Below are additional ideas to support and encourage self-feeding skills.

Practice Scooping: In the bathtub or pool, practice scooping up water and dumping it out with handled measuring cups. This is a fun way to practice the movements that the wrist makes when using utensils for eating.

Supportive posture: Make sure that your child has a place to sit that provides a supportive posture. When a child is supported, he is more likely to accept the challenge of self-feeding. Make sure that there is a comfortable place for his feet and that the chair back is tall enough to support his back and shoulders.

Consider utensil characteristics:

 Length: In general, shorter spoons are easier to place successfully in the mouth.

 Bowel of spoon: A deeper bowel helps the food stay on the spoon, a flat bowel makes it easier to get the food off the spoon.

 Width of handle: Wider handled spoons are easier to hold on to.

Sensory Input: Some spoons have texture on the handles that encourage children to hold on to the spoon. These spoons are easy to find in the baby section of most stores. You may also place a sponge curler (found at the Dollar Store) on the spoon handle so can he can squeeze into spoon and hold on to it easier.

Bowel and plate characteristics can increase successful self-feeding:

 Suction cup bowel and plates help stabilize the bowel or plate making it easier to scoop up or stab food.

 Bowels and plates with a raised edge to can make it easier to scoop or stab food with a fork

Other ways to encourage and support successful self-feeding: from most to least support:

 Hold the spoon and have him hold your hand as you guide the spoon to his mouth

 Allow your child to hold the spoon while you guide the spoon to his mouth by holding the end of the spoon

 Hold your child’s hand on the spoon

 Support your child’s arm so he can bring the spoon to his mouth

If these ideas do not increase your child’s self-feeding skill, he may not have the desire to self-feed. Lack of desire is a different problem that needs a thorough investigation and consideration. Children are by nature curious and enjoy developing independent skills like self feeding.